Decision Fatigue

The following is a hypothetical. Nothing in the following post actually happened. Except for everything in the following post pretty much always happens. 

*****

My wife asks me what I want for dinner. I tell her that I don’t care, because I don’t care. Then, I ask her: “What about you? What would you like for dinner?” She says she doesn't care.

But she cares…

Now, I’m not one to brag all that much, but I must say that I’m pretty dadgum good at making grilled cheese sandwiches. It all comes down to applied heat and butter volume, really, but bread choice does make a difference.

I prefer plain white sandwich bread, but even enriched white, hearty white, white wheat, wheat, honey wheat, whole wheat, or butter bread can make a better than average grilled cheese sandwich at the hands of a maker like me. 

We’re not going to discuss cheese, though, because there is no discussion when it comes to cheese. If you use anything other than Kraft Singles, you have no business being in the grilled cheese game.

“What about you? What would you like for dinner?” I asked.
”I don’t care,” she said
“I can make grilled cheese,” I said. 
“I want something healthy,” she said.
“Something healthy?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said.
((confused stare))

“What?”
“Like a salad?” 
“No, not a salad.”
“Grilled chicken?”
“Ew, no.”
“Grilled vegetables?”
“What kind of vegetables?”
“I don’t know. Corn? Squash?”
“No.”
“Asparagus?”
“Bleck.”
“Brussels sprouts?”
“Nah.”
“You sure you don’t want a salad? I could put a salad together.”
“Do we have cucumbers?”
“No.”
“Then, no.”
“I’m running out of healthy things, babe. Just tell me what you want.”
“I don’t care.”
“But you do care.”
“I really don’t.”
“But you do.”
“I don’t care. I just don’t want to make any decisions. I’m tired of making decisions. I have decision fatigue.”
”Decision fatigue?”
”It’s a thing.”
((confused stare))
((piercing stare))
“OK, so, then, I’ll decide.”
“Great! Because I don’t care.”
“What about grilled cheese?”
“Did you really just ask me that?”
“Um. Yes?”
“I don’t want grilled cheese.”
“But then you said for me to decide.”
“But you didn’t decide. You asked me.”
“I asked if you wanted grilled cheese.”
“Right! And I don’t. I don’t want grilled cheese.”
“You also said you didn’t care.”
“I. Don’t. Care.”
“Yes. You. Do.”
((piercing stare))
((confused stare))
((eye roll))
((confused stare))
…..
…..
…..
“But you want something healthy?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?”
“It’s whatever you want. I just don’t want grilled cheese.”
“Or salad or chicken or grilled vegetables or…”
((piercing stare))
((confused stare))
“We’ll eat whatever you want.”
“I want a grilled cheese.”
“Oh, for the love of… Fine. Let’s eat grilled cheese.”
“Really?”
“Go make grilled cheese.”
“I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna go make grilled cheese.”
“Go make grilled cheese.”
“I’ll make it special just for you.”
“Whatever.”
((confused stare))
“What?!”
“Unless you’d… rather have… something else...”